Episode 7 – Warren Mendonsa – The Musician Dad

Photograph by Deepak Gopalkrishnan

(This is from Nadir Pop’s prespective)

When I was in college I remember attending the small and simple rock shows that used to happen in our city, Mumbai in India.

There was this band called Zero, these guys were young, strong, bordering brashness and knew the pulse of the crowd. But the member that really stood out, for me at least, was the lead guitarist, Warren Mendonsa.

That was around 17 years ago. We connect again, but this up close and as parents. Time can do wonderful things to people, the span doesn’t matter, but the point at which you meet is what matters.

Warren is this big, rotund man who looks like a regular bloke. His humility precedes him and at no point will you assume that he is a world-class musician, producer and composer.

Warren was sweet enough to give us some time and talk about his journey of being a parent and how is balances his life between creating music, being a dad, a husband and sometimes touring.

We spoke about his band Blackstratblues, their last 2 albums being inspired by his daughter. He goes on to say that being a parent changes his perspective even when it comes to creating music and having his daughter around kind of seeps into his creative process of making music.

Bedtime with The Beatles was something that Warren introduced us to where the musician called Jason Falkner takes Beatles songs and transforms them into lullabies. I think it’s quite genius. It’s great for kids clearly.

And another show that he introduced us to was Beat Bugs, a kids show which is based on The Beatles songs without the dodgy lyrics. I introduced it to my 3.5 year old daughter. She saw the first 5 mins, turns to me and enquires, almost offended, “Where is the bettle?” She was actually expecting the insect and when I said there aren’t any, she just dropped the phone and left.

Warren also truly believes that introducing musical instruments to young children is very beneficial.

The recording experience with Warren was a bit at the start. He was our first guest and we ended up talking amongst ourselves for a good 25 minutes and guess what we forgot to hit record! So we had to restart the entire conversation and it was all good.

Check out the latest Blackstratblues album

Episode 6 – The Wives: Post Pregnancy

You can read all the baby books, watch videos, plan, prepare and mentally convince yourself that “I am ready for this” but when the baby comes you are constantly asking yourself the question “Do I even know how to baby!

In Part 2 of THE WIVES episode the baby journey begins and things get real. Once again this episode is all about the wives and what it was like for them to get through the initial period of the baby coming home.

Karen and Sabiha relive their first few days with the baby. You can hear a nostalgic plea in Karen’s voice about missing the hospital staff and the nurses who took such good care of her son. But now she was all on her own and constantly on the edge.

On the other hand Sabiha talks about the horrors of reaching home with a 3-day old and especially feeding her daughter continuously on the hour and that definitely took a toll on her.

Luckily for both the wives, family and hired help was a big boon and they thanked their stars for it because things were definitely far better when raising the child.

But when it comes to diaper changing even closes family members take a step and both husband-wife have to clean up the shit, literally. Karen couldn’t take the smell but Sabiha would smell her daughter’s poop because of the breast milk – WHAT!?!

The wives also spoke about the do’s and don’ts of sharing photos of the kids on social media and why it is done by certain parents and why some parents shun the practice.

At some level Karen and Sabiha did question what have they got themselves into. Reality was far different from expectations. The relationship with the child, husband, family, and individually was going to change dramatically.

Hear to what they have to say and what they went through when life is ruled by a child taking over their body, when the tiniest event leads into panic, when isolation becomes their best friend and when lack of work leaves them frustrated.

Does having a child change YOU at the core?

You can email us on popsinapod@gmail.com we would love to hear your planning stories before having your child(ren) or you can follow us on the below social media handles.

Episode 5 – The Wives: Pre-Pregnancy

In this episode, Nadir Pop and Peter Pop introduce their very first guest(s), their wives Sabiha Ghiasi and Karen Alfonso, respectively.

In previous episodes, you have heard Nadir Pop and Peter Pop’s perspectives on the initial journey of becoming parents but now you will hear their side of the story. They discuss getting together as a couple and Karen’s concerns on managing a long-distance marriage while Peter was pursuing his MBA in a foreign country.

Sabiha and Karen also go into a detailed commentary on how their kids were definitely planned and not an “oops” moment and their initial struggle with PCOD and the effects it had on planning to have a baby. They also tell their respective stories on how all four of them reacted when they heard that they were pregnant.

They also discuss the pregnancy phase and how it was for them and what are things that they experienced while they were carrying. Karen goes on to describe her cravings and the day she accidentally took a sip of wine while pregnant and how she was totally freaking out.

The wives take us through the various forms of paranoia, issues, concerns while they were pregnant and thoughts of having a healthy child would constantly come up in conversations. And they highlight the fact how a first pregnancy always accentuates these feelings and emotions that they encounter.

There is a point in the podcast where they all discuss how the couple break the news to their respective parents and reactions range from emotional to downright hilarity, especially when it came to Nadir’s parents.

You heard Nadir Pop and Peter Pop’s version of the birthing story and now you can listen to Sabiha and Karen’s version, yes, including the chicken roll story (No one is going to let Nadir forget this for the rest of his life).

The episode is available on most podcast platforms, Links available here – http://linktr.ee/popsinapod

Episode 4 – To Buy or Not to Buy

Being first time parents most definitely adds pressure to your already fast-paced, time-hungry life. But to top it off when you have to mutually come to an agreement on setting aside monies for purchasing baby products can add fuel to fire.

This week Nadir Pop and Peter Pop delve into:

  • Whether or not buying baby stuff for a new baby makes sense or not?
  • How they didn’t want to buy because they wanted to wait till the baby was born (gender, health, etc).
  • What DID they actually buy?
  • Their experiences and how they managed to get baby things without much expense.
  • The wonderful boon of gifts
  • The grandparents and how they lost their marbles

To get an understanding on average spending on kids by Indian families, have a read of this article

You can listen to the podcast on the following platforms – http://linktr.ee/popsinapod

Episode 3 – The Planning Pt. 2

In this episode, Nadir Pop and Peter Pop reflect on the amount of effort that they put in with their respective wives to become parents. And the planning stage was tough, would be a colossal understatement.

As parents there are so many things that need to be thought through, especially in the world that we are living today.

  • Are we mentally prepared to have this child?
  • Are we financially stable to sustain our lives along with a new human being?
  • What sort of sacrifices do we need to make to adjust to this new parental life?
  • Are we compatible, from a medical standpoint to conceive a child?
  • If both of us are working then how are we balancing work and life?

Nadir Pop and Peter Pop tackle all these burning questions through their personal stories and anecdotes.

Episode 2 – The Planning: Part 1

What is it like to find the perfect partner?

How do we know that we have found THAT perfect partner?

What is it that we are looking for in a partner?

Does love at first sight make any sense?

Nadir Pop and Peter Pop go deep into how they went about finding their respective wives. There are so many important factors when finding the right partners – love, connection both physical and mental, trust, loyalty, friendship, sharing and many more.

But then there is this other aspect of “do you want to have kids with them”? How vital that last point when selecting a partner? Is this how we need to look at a relationship? If and when you do hook up, how important is planning in your collective lives when bringing in a brand new human being into this turmoil we call world.

The Pop duo also speak about the first stages of planning to have a child and discuss as to why timing plays such an important role in it and what are the immediate things that need to be considered when planning to have a child.

Follow the Pops on Social media below

Episode 1 – The Delivery

The birth of their children was one of the biggest events of Peter and Nadir’s lives (there are many more to come). Soon after they had the idea for the podcast, hours were spent discussing episode ideas and trading stories. It was clear what the first episode should be about, the defining moment of their live. It was clear what the first episode should be about, the defining moment of their parenting journey.

There were moments on those respective days that they did not see coming despite all the planning. Nadir’s wife threw him out of the room while she was in labour. Peter could not witness his son’s birth. Listen closely to find out how it all unfolded.

On the day, when their respective kids came into this world in their naked glory, it was in fact both the fathers who stood there exposed and naked to the brand new world as first time parents. Because no matter how much you plan there will always be something unplanned that will show up and you just need to ride the wave.

The journey of parenthood began with THE DELIVERY.

Introducing Pops in a Pod

Pops in a Pod is a parenting podcast from a father’s perspective. This is not a glorified baby-sitting dad podcast, this goes beyond sharing the load, where he doesn’t just play the role of a weekend parent, but is involved in day-to-day parenting. Right from changing diapers to constructive playtime and everything in between.

Hosted and produced by 2 first-time dads based in Mumbai, India – Nadir Kanthawala and Peter Kotikalapudi. They bring in their colourful, yet thought- provoking experiences on what it’s like to be a working parent and share equal responsibilities.

Most content available online and/or offline in India is predominantly from a mother’s perspective, And the information is replete with advisory-based content – tips, how-to-parent, style, listicles, etc. Very few platforms offer only experiences or story based content and that’s where POPS IN A POD comes in.

You can listen to the podcast on all platforms – http://linktr.ee/popsinapod